Angela - Trafficked for Sexual Exploitation in Ireland
This is Angela’s* story, told by Angela in her own words.
I was forced into prostitution and used as a sex slave, people precious to me were constantly used as a weapon to threaten me over and over again, to break me down so I wouldn’t be able to escape from the web. I was deceived and tricked into this, false promises were made to me, it was too late when I realized that everything I was told were all lies. The only plan I had in my mind, which was part of the promises, was achieving a good career that will enable me to give my children a secured future. My plan all along was different from the one they had in mind, but my vulnerability sold me out. The genuine love I have for my children and family was the reason I was the best and easiest target.
I reluctantly did things out of my will, my dignity was reduced to rags. I was abused in various ways and I had to stay quiet in fear because I had to protect my family. No one could see my pain. I walked past people many time and I hoped they could see my pain and what I was going through. I wished they could see the sadness in my eyes. How would I have been able to know the foes, friends or partners in this crime, how many of them are out there I repeatedly asked myself. The phone I had was seized from me, the phone that was given to me by the pimp was strictly used only to take directions and instructions, and it was topped up with a fixed amount that untouchable and recorded down. There was no way of communicating with my family except the few times I could talk with them briefly and I was never allowed to talk to the privately. I had to stand right in front of the pimp and I had to be careful with everything I say.
I had to travel to different locations, even times when I wasn't physically strong to do so. Never had a break, never had a day off, never had a rest. Many days I stayed without food, sometimes I had only apples, bread and tap water to survive. Even when I was seriously ill, I still had to work, even when I am menstruating I still had to work . I had to shut up and do what I was told to do. they were constantly threatening my family .
“I was forced into prostitution and used as a sex slave. People precious to me were constantly used as a weapon to threaten more over and over again”
— Angela
I was hurt, depressed, traumatized, mentally frustrated, my dignity was destroyed, my thoughts were all over the place, there were times I even had strange thoughts, thoughts of ending everything but I couldn’t act on my thoughts because of my children, the thought of my children gave me strength to endure. I hated life, I hated myself, some days I spent hours scrubbing myself to the point of hurting my skin thinking doing that will clean me off from all the dirty and disgusting experience. but the pain and experience is pierced deeply in my heart and no matter the bubbles from the soap or how hot the water feels or how hard the texture of the sponge is, it still wasn’t able to wash the pain away.
Thinking about my children kept me going and gave me the courage I needed to run away.
Human Trafficking is real, Modern slave is real, just a little observation of people around you can save a life today.
Please report any suspicion, staying quiet can destroy another person. Someone around you might be experiencing a similar situation or even worse, let's try to be more observant around our environment.
To every victim of human trafficking out there do not lose hope. I know people will try to break you, condemn you, intimidate you, make you feel less of yourself, some people will make their opinions in a sarcastic way, they will ask you sensitive questions that are emotionally draining. Some people might have a certain way they look at you, a look of complete disgust. There are times when people tell you that you do not look like a victim even when you are totally broken and there is just a tiny piece of thread holding you together but do not let their words get to you. I know it is hard but it is the only way to help yourself. Do not lose hope because when there is life there is always hope.
“To every victim of trafficking out there, do not lose hope”
This testimony has been shared by Ruhama and has been published with Angela’s permission. Angela is a survivor of sex trafficking and wants to tell her story to raise awareness of human trafficking and to let other victims know that help and support is out there.
Angela has been engaging with Ruhama supports for a number of years and is rebuilding her life. To learn more about Ruhama services please visit www.ruhama.ie
*Pseudonyms have been used to protect the identity of this brave woman.